Last week, I spoke to someone who hasn’t had a girlfriend since 2018…
He’s a smart, driven professional working here in Paris. Let’s call him Rajiv. Right now, Rajiv is pursuing his career with all the ambition and focus it requires to thrive.
We spoke on Zoom one balmy afternoon when the sun broke precipitously through the clouds. He wore a crisp collared shirt during our call, and spoke to me from his office downtown. As I sipped my green tea, he told me about his dating history. He speaks beautiful French and perfect English, but he’s been single for 3+ years. Since 2018, he’s only dated two people. One of them was married. And none of them were realistic long-term prospects.
You’re ready to start meeting new people, and having conversations with them.
“I’m working a lot, my company is growing every day, and I can’t really pull back on work,” he told me over Zoom
“But I want to start meeting people. I want to at least be going on dates.”
Yup, that’s the case for most busy professionals who want their careers to grow and hope to increase their incomes and level of experience in the next five years.
He’s ready to settle down, and he’s not meeting anyone.
“I just don’t have time right now,” he told me. “I’m tired of meeting people who are just not serious.”
It feels difficult, if not impossible, to meet new people.
Every week, I hear from smart, intelligent people who are doing well at work and thriving in many aspects of their lives. Their health and finances under control, parents are mostly healthy, life is good. Yet they struggling to meet and connect with like-minded people with a similar level of thoughts.
Does this sound familiar?
“I have no idea where I would even meet someone,” he continued. “I really hate dating apps, I don’t believe they work, even for a second. And I’m not into pubs, bars, restaurants.”
“You know, maybe I should just wait until the end of the pandemic, then start going out,” he said.
I didn’t quite believe him; his words told one story, but his behaviour told another.
And I was on a mission to find out:
Was Rajiv regularly meeting women before Corona took over our lives?
Past performance is a Good Indicator of Future Prospects
“Tell me, Rajiv, about your dating history over the last few years,” I said to him, while taking a sip of green tea from my cup.
Here’s what he shared:
2018: Briefly dated a girl in his Master’s programme. “She was perfect, looks-wise, but she didn’t have her own thing going. She was dependent on me to make life interesting.”
2019: Flirted with someone who was engaged. She married the other guy.
2020: Flirted with a shop assistant. Dated her for a month. Broke up.
This pattern will continue, unless Rajiv makes a dramatic change.
He can either do exactly what he’s doing (working a lot, not using dating apps, not sure how to meet the right women) or get help from an expert to implement a new approach to meeting the right people.
Dating during a Pandemic
As you can see, from reading the above, Rajiv hasn’t actually dated anyone seriously in the last three years, perhaps longer.
Instead, he’s studied and worked to get himself to where he is today: with strong and steady career prospects, but completely and utterly alone.
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Even during a pandemic, he has an income and a career, because he’s carefully invested in both over the last 10 years. But he’s still single, and doesn’t know where to start looking for someone who shares his same level of thoughts.
Meanwhile, time is passing.
Those who have made it a priority to meet someone are able to do so even during lockdown. They meet on Zoom, on Facetime, on Whatsapp. They get to know each other: favourite books, hobbies, what you love and hate about your family.
Those who do not take action are home alone with Netflix and Instagram.
Dating After Corona
Rajiv is right about one thing: the pandemic will end.
The dark winter days will give way to a summer of sunshine, with afternoons at the Seine. You can text this person you really like and want to get to know better to meet you for a glass of rosé, and chat for hours as the sun sets in a blood-orange sky. It might not end in marriage, but it always leads to greater clarity on what you want and need in a long-term partner.
You could start meeting new people today.
Or, like Rajiv, you can spend another evening thinking that tired trope: “It’s just so hard to meet people.”
If this situation (and Rajiv’s story) resemble your own, I invite you to book a free Dating Breakthrough Call with me.
These are private, one-on-one conversations held on Zoom to analyse your specific situation and understand how you can start matching with the right women.
There is a fee of 1 euro to book, to create accountability between us, and are 30-60 minutes long. There is no selling, no pitching, and no persuasion; just a simple, straightforward analysis of what’s not working and how to change that starting today.
I’ve opened up my calendar over the next few weeks, but slots are limited.
Book your complimentary Dating Breakthrough Call HERE.