Last week, I met a twice-divorced woman IT consultant based in Sweden…
“I am a divorcée,” said Aarti, introducing herself. “I don’t know if you work with divorcées, as it could pose a problem.”
A Multitude of Opinions About Divorce
35-year-old Aarti is one of many professionals whose negative experience with a first marriage created fear of the social implications of their past.
“Getting divorced shattered my confidence,” said Aarti, morosely. “It would take someone broadminded not to judge me for this.”
Her thoughts echo many of the previously-married individuals who reach out to me, perhaps believing that once married means twice cursed.:
“People will look at me as though I’m an alien,” said Prithvi, an engineer based in Brussels, also previously married.
Divorced, but also: Dynamic, Educated, Ambitious
The vast majority of ambitious, educated individuals who reach out to me for help with finding a life partner don’t care about your past. They seek someone just like Aarti: ambitious, a university graduate, an expat, a seasoned professional.
During our Introductory Matchmaking Call, I leart that Aarti is an intelligent, well-educated woman who was brave to move to a cold, rainy country in Northern Europe in pursuit of a different life.
Her true identity – as beloved daughter to her parents, a loving sister, a loyal friend – indicate that she is ready to invest in a new relationship, because she is already committed to those who are close to her.
Divorce in the Past, Love in the Future
During our conversation, I also learnt that Aarti is a romantic at heart.
“I don’t have a lot of requirements or a checklist,” she said. “I’m pretty adaptable. I never have had any issues. It was just bad luck. At the same time I feel, just because something has happened, we should allow ourselves hope. There is a possibility of meeting someone out there, who might have experienced something similar, who’s open to the idea of knowing me more as a person.”
Here are two stories of individuals who found love after their first marriage ended:
From Divorcée to Wife and Stepmother
Malina got divorced after an arranged marriage went awry.
Her first husband – a man she met via a classifieds ad in the newspaper – was unkind, unfriendly, and unfeeling (or so she told me). They were married for a year, and it took two years to sign the divorce papers.
Years later, Malina met a man at the gym. Each of them were putting one foot in front of the other, on the treadmill and in life. He took her out for dinner, and a new relationship began.
Both were financially comfortable, with no dependents. Both were kind, loving, affectionate individuals who believed in family and partnership, despite a divorce in the past. Both were willing to give love another try.
Raj had two daughters who lived with his ex-wife; Malina had a large, loud extended family who often came to stay for days/weeks at a time.
Raj went on to become a much-beloved member of her family. Malina became a stepmother to two girls: their new weekend home. Both of them found an understanding partner who would accept them and their past. Together, they found joy in sharing dinner every evening after work, travelling together on holiday, and spending time with their families and friends.
From Divorcé to Husband and Father
My friend Ana who grew up in Germany met a guy at work. Panos was tall, gangly, and reeling from the sudden ending of his one-year-old marriage. Ana was 23 and smitten.
Panos had married his college girlfriend, then moved to Europe for a Master’s degree. When he left home, his marriage began to disintegrate, and she filed for divorce. Stunned, he accepted, but the idea that he “gave up” on his marriage tormented him. That is, until he met Ana, who laughed and said, “Oh well, you’ll live.”
They shared a passion for travel, a curiosity for other cultures, a mutual dislike of cold weather, and an enduring love for each other. They dated for seven years, then married at City Hall on the day before Ana gave birth to their son.
15 years after that fateful first interaction at work, Ana is more in love than ever with her husband Panos, and expecting their second child.
Discovering Possibility by Working with a Professional
“After my divorce, I closed my door to the possibility of meeting someone,” said Aarti, shaking her head. “I thought, let me just concentrate on my career. It seemed like this part of my life was not working out.” Then she found our premium matchmaking services, exclusively for educated professionals based in Europe and the UK.
“When I read about you, it seemed so promising,” said Aarti. “I thought, this is exactly what could help me.”
She signed up for our Professional Matchmaking Membership. This weekend, she has a date with a 38-year-old software engineer based in Helsinki, and next week, a meeting with a 36-year-old marketing manager in Paris.
Find Out if Matchmaking After Divorce is For You:
It’s important you feel confident that this is the way you’d like to find love and your future life partner. Matchmaking isn’t right for everyone- it’s important you feel comfortable with both the matchmaking team and the concept!
The clients we work with believe in using experts in all areas of their life. They’ve often had business mentors or personal trainers- they strive for success and want to do it in the quickest and most effective way possible.
Read more about Matchmaking Membership Programmes, to learn more about our process, what you can expect, and programme fees, and outcomes.
Book Your Introductory Matchmaking Call
You’re ready to look for love again, but not sure how (or where) to get started. Do you really have a chance to find someone a second (or third) time?
If Aarti’s story resembles your own, I invite you to book a free Introductory Matchmaking Call with me.
This is a confidential, one-on-one conversations held on Zoom to analyse your specific situation and understand how you can start matching with the right profiles.
We speak for 30 minutes to create a plan for you.
There is a fee of 1 euro to book. There is no selling, no pitching, and no persuasion; just a simple, straightforward analysis of what’s not working and how to change that starting today.
I’ve opened up my calendar over the next few weeks, but slots are limited.
Book your complimentary Introductory Matchmaking Call HERE.