Watching the Sunset in Santorini, Greece
For the first time in five years, I took a few weeks away from work to travel with my honey around Greece and the Balkans. Left the laptop at home. Told everyone I’d be away from my desk. This felt super refreshing.
Growing up in Mumbai, India, we were taught my strict Catholic nuns who frequently talked to us about our good fortune to have electricity at a time when many Indian villages were still off-the-grid (thankfully, this is no longer the case).
“You’d better work hard,” we were often told, “because so many children can’t even read their books at night.” By the time I was six years old, the pressure to get straight A’s and study at night was intense. There was no discussion about anything else.
When I lived in the US and attended NYU, it felt normal and even courageous to pull all-nighters, studying in the library into the early hours of dawn, and emerging victorious with my paper completed at 7am or so. This was in addition to working part-time throughout my studies, and on various research and consulting assignments in summers.
A few years after graduation, I went to work for an NGO in Haiti. It’s a small country in the Caribbean that used to be a French colony. Many French people still go there to work, and many Haitians speak excellent French.
At my job, there was a young colleague from France, named Clément. We were both in our early 20’s, neighbours in the apartment complex provided by the company, and colleagues during the day. Every morning, we scrambled, bleary-eyed, into the company car at 6am to drive one hour to the office, and then came home together through peak traffic around 4pm.
As you can imagine, we spent a lot of time together in the car, and during lunch breaks at the office.
During these hours, Clément shared stories of his life in France as a student – he was in Haiti temporarily for an internship. In turn, I shared stories of my past life as a student in New York, and how I spent so much time at the library and at work.
“But Malaika,” Clément said in shock, “The evening is not for working!”
His comment shocked me, because I recognised the truth in his words.
This was the very beginning of my wake-up call to take work a little less seriously, and place more importance on living and on relationships. I went on to experience a burnout a couple of years later, which left me in a zombie-like state, and was one of the triggers for my two-year cycling trip from Alaska to Argentina.
A summer holiday is but a brief chance to disconnect and live like the locals in a foreign country. But it was a strong reminder of the months and years I spent on the bike, sleeping in a tent, living according to the seasons, with the goal of learning about a new place, and having adventures.
While travelling, I met and was hosted by many people who prioritised their relationships as much as their jobs. Just like Clément, they taught me that life – the daily routines of picking up children from school, kneading bread for dinner, or sharing a meal with loved ones – can be as rich and fulfilling as work, as a career.
The two-year trip taught me a lot about living in the moment, and helped me find my life purpose as a Professional Indian Matchmaker. Today, my mission is to help global professionals meet a life partner who also loves to travel.
As a Professional Matchmaker, I work with smart, ambitious professionals all over the world.
These folks are goal-oriented, analytical, and always look for ways to evolve and keep moving. They like to feel challenged.
I get it, because I’m the same way. And travel refreshes me so much, so I can come back to work full of new ideas and with more energy to do good work.
Your job is a very important part of life – getting promoted, earning more. It feels somehow validating. It’s very nice to see your work appreciated. It’s like a little award, it feels nice.
Before going on holiday, I was worried that I’d fall behind in my work. What I didn’t realise nor expect was to return to my desk with so many new ideas, and so much more motivation and inspiration for my job as a Professional Matchmaker, and for my relationships – partner, family, friends.
To my own surprise, I realised that I didn’t need to choose which one was more important. My loved ones and my clients were so eager to hear about my travels and see photos, because they, too, love to travel. We were able to bond on a mutual commitment to doing great work, and a commitment to the joy of discovering new cultures and countries.
The good news is that both men and women feel this way. Prioritizing work and travel and a family life is not a gender issue, it’s a lifestyle decision.
When I was cycling from Alaska to Argentina, I used to think, ah, no matter how much I could love a person, I will always love travelling more.
But while travelling, I met people who loved to travel as much as I did. They were committed to travel – discovering new places, meeting new people, learning about a different culture and civilisation.
I learnt that you can find a soulmate who is just like you: crazy about travel, committed to work, and ready for a long-term relationship.
They were also stable professionals, committed to their careers. Our mutual love of travel made us compatible. These are the kinds of people you want to find – who share the same values as you. To borrow a term from marketing, this is your target audience.
These are inspiring people who dream of going off the beaten path. Seeing the Northern Lights, or sleeping in a pine forest in the South of France. They are found in the national parks, small cafés, and outdoor concerts of the world. Rarely do you meet these kinds of people at the office.
The goal is to find a committed relationship where people actually want to be there for each other, and they have a long-term orientation.
The joy of travelling is multiplied, when you can share new experiences in a beautiful place with a person who you love, trust, and with whom you want to spend a lifetime discovering the world.
As it went, I attended an event tonight hoping to meet someone interesting. Instead, most…
Use this script to talk to a guy who may not be ready for commitment…
You might be dating for the first time. Or you've been swiping for years, like…
Maybe you've considered hiring a Professional Matchmaker to help you find a partner. You've explored…
Sometimes, it could be because of bad experiences as an adult: A breakup. A toxic…
Yesterday, I asked my single guy friend Paul if he'd want to be a stay-at-home…