3 Lessons on Finding Love from my Indian Mother

Though my mum got married at a time when arranged marriages were the norm, she met my dad at a party (!).

Asking her and my dad lots of questions about her youth has been so enlightening for me on my own Soulmate Journey.

Here are 3 things she taught me that helped me find The One.

1. Honesty and Integrity First.

“Always tell the truth, and the full truth,” my mum told me. “That’s more attractive and valuable than any job, any amount of money.

So when I met my partner in Paris, I was really up front with him, in saying:

“I come from India, and have a big Indian family and a LOT of aunties. Marriage has to be part of the plan, and if you’re on board, let’s date!”

He said yes, and we keep the rule of “Honesty always” as front and centre in our relationship.

2. You have to feel comfortable.

That’s what attracted my mum to my dad, and what attracted me to my man, like a bee to honey. From Day 1, I felt SO COMFORTABLE, like I could be my loud, talkative, extroverted, ambitious self and drop words like “neo-colonialist complex” and “structural inequality” (but also “poop” 😉 into our early conversations.

That comfort has become the bedrock of our relationship, and something we commit to offering the other.

3. Kindness counts.

Yes, my mum said this, but so did a 90-year longitudinal study from Harvard University on what makes marriage last.

My partner was super kind when we were dating: he’d help me repair my bike, hold doors open, and talked constantly about the endless privilege we had to live in Paris.

His kindness – and his ability to be that way for me, and for EVERYONE he met – was and is endlessly attractive.