first date

The 6-Word Question I Used to Break the Ice on Tinder Dates

25 July 2022

When I first started using dating apps, I’d routinely make a terrible mistake…

After what felt like a million swipes, I’d settle on meeting a guy or two in person. We would agree on a time and date, I’d wear a cute dress and brush my hair, and sashay into the restaurant hoping for a good time.

We’d settle into a booth, or a pair of tiny chairs in front of an equally-tiny Parisian café table, and proceed to order drinks and start an awkward conversation.

Starting Off on the Wrong Foot

“So, how long have you been living in Paris?” I’d ask them. And immediately, they’d vomit a barrage of childhood stories, studying the wrong subject at university, and the struggles of finding an apartment in Paris. It was way too much information.

The conversation veered off into no-mans-land, I’d lose interest, and we’d end the date wondering where we went wrong.

Older, Wiser, Less Patient

The second time around, after returning from a two-year bicycle trip in the Americas, I’d learnt my lesson.

As a Professional Matchmaker, I hear from single men and women all day long. It only felt natural to have the same conversation in the evening on first dates – because I knew the same issues applied to the guys I was meeting and dating in Paris. I also knew I wasn’t the only woman they had met that month, or that year.

The 6-Word Question I Used to Break the Ice on Tinder Dates

If nothing else, I thought to myself, this date can be research for work. But the 6-word question proved so successful, I continued using it on every Tinder date. It made the guys open up – and all of a sudden, we were having a real conversation. Because they felt comfortable enough to open up, the first dates began to have hints of a real connection. And I enjoyed them so much more.

Here’s the 6-word question in all its’ glory:

“How was your last Tinder date?”


What about you – Do you have a favourite question to ask on First Dates? I’d love to hear.

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