It Didn’t Happn: When Dating Apps Don’t Work, Try Matchmaking Instead.

Just for fun, I downloaded Happn a few days ago, after landing in Mumbai (my hometown).

The results were shocking…

Ever wondered how the dating game on apps like Happn really works? Let me spill the beans based on my own experiences.

Using Happn in Paris at age 29:

So, rewind a bit. Back in my late 20s, I was on Happn for the first time. I was swiping left and right like a mad person, hoping to find that elusive long-term thing. I was living in Paris, Happn is a French app, and everyone in my neighborhood was on it.

And you know what? It actually worked! I ended up meeting some really cool people and even got into a serious relationship through the app.

We fell in love, and he was incredibly affectionate, traditional, and gentlemanly with me…

When I told him I wanted to get married, he said, “How about June?” *swoon*

Using Happn (and other apps) in Paris at age 33:

Things changed once I was in my 30’s.

Very few matches. Conversations just fizzled out. People I liked didn’t like me (for whatever mysterious reason). Guys who liked me, I didn’t like at all!

Eventually, I lost interest, and deleted the apps.

Then I came to Mumbai and decided to try out Happn, again.

Boom! Within 3 days, I had over 100 matches.

When dating apps give you lots of matches, you know you’re in the right market.

The market determines your value – and the market will tell you, by “liking”.

It’s not just about the app itself; it’s about the market you’re playing in.

Let me explain.

Think of Happn like a huge virtual dating bazaar. Each city, neighborhood, or even part of town is its own little market. And just like in real life, different markets attract different types of people.

Finding love in New York City on Happn:

Take my experience attending a wedding of two lovebirds who met through Happn.

She was 33, he was 36. They met in New York City – notorious for being “difficult” to find a partner in your 30’s. They met, they clicked, and today they are happily married, living near the beach in Miami.

Did they get lucky ? Or was it about being in the right place (or market) at the right time? We’ll never know.

For most of us, dating apps don’t work. They have a 0.00014% success rate. We cannot rely on them to find the right person.

When dating apps don’t work, what’s left?

The marriage market (via dating apps) in Paris worked for me. Then, one day, it didn’t.

I had never used dating apps in Mumbai. I’m only here for a few weeks, passing through. For the rest of the year, I needed a more consistent way to meet guys who are actually serious about settling down.

In the bigger picture, it’s about quality over quantity, right?

Plus, I’m way busier than I was in my 20’s. My career is growing. I have more to do at work. Plus, I don’t have as much time/energy to waste on guys who are looking for something casual.

That’s when I turned to matchmaking. 

Dating apps are based on location; Matchmaking is International.

The cool thing about matchmaking: your address doesn’t matter. You can get the same quality of matches anywhere in the world. Your matchmaker sends you matches. She does a thorough international search. She does the hard work, so you don’t have to.

The guys you’ll meet want to find love yesterday. They are happy to meet you on video chat. Later, you can plan to meet in real life. They’re not looking for something casual.

Now, I’m not saying you should move to a different city to up your Happn game. When you understand your market, you understand how to find the right person. You get how your market works. Plus, you won’t get as frustrated by low-quality matches.

When dating apps don’t work, try matchmaking.

You might be dating for the first time. Or you’ve been swiping for years, like me. People say, “Which app should I try?” But it’s not about which app. It’s about the dynamics of the marriage market of the city in which you live.

Single men write to me every single day. As a Professional Indian Matchmaker, I check out their profiles. I keep only the ones who are serious about settling down.

I’ve put 7 of my most attractive profiles into a bundle, so you can get started meeting men who want to settle down. It’s a faster, more straightforward approach. This way, you only meet people who want to get married.

If you’re tired of swiping on the apps and chats that go nowhere, check out this bundle of matches I’ve put together.

Let’s make some relationship magic happen for you.

 

 

 

Top photo of Mumbai by Dipinder Rainu; New York City subway map photo by Samson Katt. View of the Seine in Paris by Jasmine Ng