“I have not been in a relationship for over 7 years,” Pranjali told me. “Plus the pandemic… it doesn’t help that everything was closed, I didn’t even see my friends. The dating game has changed in certain aspects. Asking my friend’s advice has been useless; they don’t know how to help me.”
“I’m matching up with so many people. Even when I reach out to them, they won’t reach out to me.
“How they talk is very blasé. As though, “You’re lucky I even swiped on you.”
Intelligent, beautiful, well-educated Pranjali couldn’t connect with the people she matched with, and wasn’t matching with the people with whom she wanted to connect.
Inside the Perfect Match program, Pranjali began building her Ideal Partner Profile (IPP) – based on her values, lifestyle, and mindset – and what popped out surprised her, a lot.
“The people in my life, they stand for education, an independent spirit. They strive to be independent. They don’t just stick with what’s the easiest. They will fight tooth and nail to get out of a challenging situation,” she told me, after creating her first draft.
Her values included:
Yet her old matches included men still living at home with their parents, or guys who were only dating “to show their parents they were putting in some effort.”
I.e., Pranjali’s matches did not match her Ideal Partner Profile, and would never turn into serious options.
Thanks to building her custom IPP, Pranjali’s dates are very different. In her own words:
“I’ve been getting people who’ve matched my ideal partner profile. Which is AMAZING. A year ago, I felt lucky to hit the 50% mark.
“I definitely learnt how to set boundaries better. I realised the value that I bring into a relationship that I offer now. How my life experiences and making certain decisions contributed to me getting to where I am, even things where I don’t feel great about them myself.
“I’m now more interested in the story of a person than what’s written on paper. That’s something I was not receptive to before.”
Designing her custom IPP gave Pranjali the confidence to enjoy the dating process. She started to feel like she was in the driver’s seat of her love life:
“A year and a half ago, I would just dread matching with people,
“They would always have an excuse why things wouldn’t work between us. They say that you shouldn’t take it personally, but when it all adds up, it DOES feel personal.
Thanks to her IPP, Pranjali looks forward to her Friday night dates, with relish. She added:
“I’ve been having the most INTERESTING conversations.
“I’ve been meeting people who are more like “I’m an independent person, I’ve grown since living with my family.” It’s so refreshing. That’s who I am.
Pranjali went from dreading the match-and-meet process, to relishing the interesting conversations with potential partners.
All this, despite being “a heavy introvert”, as she calls herself.
For the first time, I’m walking you through how you can create your custom IPP, so you can start enjoying your dates and fast-forward to being with the right person for you.
“I ask them what they’re looking for. What are your friends like. What do you like to do? What’s your lifestyle?
“I’m gearing my questions to: “Are you hitting what’s on MY list for my partner?”
“What are things your friends would say about you?
“What would you do if you had a year sabbatical ?”