When you first connect with someone, you might find yourself overwhelmed by the other person’s looks and physical qualities. You may find them attractive, interesting, or sexy. You’re not yet trying to calculate your compatibility.
However, you have no idea about the background circumstances as to why the person has the intention of dating. When there is no information about the other person, taking a leap of faith might sound romantic, but in reality it can be damaging.
You can spend hours exchanging messages, talking on the phone.
Ideally, you want to actually meet someone in real life, and spend some time with them. You want to first feel their vibe and then you can actually see how much the two of you are actually compatible.
How Do You Know If You Can Trust Them?
In the beginning, just experiencing a first kiss can ignite the emotions so deeply, you get distracted. You can become emotionally attached before you understand the other person’s true character – before you have the chance to calculate compatibility.
When you meet someone new, its natural to show the best version of yourself. But the truth is, we are all imperfect, in one way or another. We have certain strengths and weaknesses, certain likes and dislikes. Obviously, we do not show our weaknesses and idiosyncrasies immediately. They reveal themselves later.
Before Trust: Understanding.
“We can judge the heart of a man by his treatment of animals,” wrote 18th century German philosopher Immanuel Kant. “He who is cruel to animals becomes hard also in his dealings with men.”
Kant believed that you could trust a person solely based on the way they treated animals. In my opinion, there is no formula for building trust. I think it is a slow, messy process, and takes time, no matter how much you try.
However, watching how a person interacts with animals can give you insight into how that person treats vulnerable creatures. It can also indicate how that person will treat you when you are at your lowest and most vulnerable.
I have found this to be a useful way to understand a person’s character.
You might not be ready to completely open up and trust someone new. This is natural, as trust needs to be earned. However, you can seek out an opportunity to watch how this person interacts with domestic animals.
Animals: An Easy Way to Understand A Person’s Character
Domestic animals are lovable, often cuddly, and dependent on human beings. They are, by their very nature, vulnerable. They can also be smelly, dirty, and unpredictable in their behaviour.
When you’re getting to know someone new, you can invite them to visit a nearby farm with you. It’s a great opportunity to spend time together, talk, and interact with domestic animals such as cats, dogs, chickens, goats, and horses.
Domestic Animals: An Easy Way to Calculate Compatibility
As you watch this person who you’re only just getting to know (and probably like very much!), you can ask yourself:
Does this person react with joy and eagerness?
Are they afraid to touch the animals?
Are they worried about getting their clothes dirty?
Watching their level of comfort and ease with these animals will help you understand how that person reacts to new circumstances and unpredictability. It is a great way to get insight into how the other person reacts to external circumstances, and can help you decide if this is the kind of person with whom you want to spend your life.
If you are based in the Paris metropolitan region, I can recommend the Ferme de Gally – an urban farm with goats, chickens, and sheep. There’s also a horse who lives on the property. The farm is a quick train ride north of Paris.
If you are getting to know someone new, you can propose visiting this farm as one of your dates, simply by asking: “Have you ever visited a farm here in Paris? If not, would you like to check out a farm in St. Denis this weekend?”
Have you ever visited an animal farm? Would you go there with a new friend?
Photos from a visit to a family farm in the Pyrénées Mountains in the south of France.