Yesterday on the phone, an old friend revealed something shocking…
We met years ago at Meetup event hosted at a bar on the Left Bank of Paris.
Pramila, 28 years old with bright skin and thick, dark hair, was in the city to give her nascent relationship a shot at success, and had moved in with her kind, attentive boyfriend of 9 months. The relationship ended, but our friendship blossomed, as did Pramila’s worries about finding someone for a long-term relationship…
Ambitious, Creative, and Committed to her Career.
As I got to know her, it became obvious that Pramila was not just any woman.
She has a Master’s Degree, and when she described the subjects she had studied, the passion in her voice was obvious.
She was committed to her job, often working weekends to make sure she could be a top performer on weekdays.
She cares deeply about her colleagues and clients alike. One week last year, when she was going through a difficult time at work, we spent hours discussing the best way to communicate with her supervisor.
Pramila also loves to be creative. During lockdown, she Whatsapped me a photo of a pillow on her sofa.
“What’s this?” I wrote back.
“I just sewed this cushion myself!” she texted with glee. All the heart emojis.
A Passion for Travel, a Desire for Adventure.
Most importantly, Pramila loves travelling.
In pre-Covid times, she spent weekends discovering the azure blue waters of the south of France, the canals of Amsterdam, and winding streets of central London. Summer holidays were spent across the Atlantic in New York City, and among the ruins of the Acropolis in Greece.
Some of these trips she did with her then-boyfriend. Some of those trips she did with friends. And some she did by herself, simply because she loves to pack her bags and just go.
“I thought I’d be married by now.”
“I thought I’d be married by now,” Pramila told me. “I thought I’d have a family and children, at least one. But that hasn’t happened yet. I haven’t even met the right guy.” The relationship that had originally brought her to Paris ended a year later; both of them realised that they were good friends, but not really in love with each other. Pramila, too, wanted more. “I wasn’t really in love with him,” she told me after the breakup. Now she’s turning 34, and not sure what the future holds. “I just thought I’d find the right person soon after, and I haven’t, not yet.”
Sriram, a 34-year-old mechanical engineer working in Sweden, also worries about time passing:
“I want to settle down now,” he told me. “I’m not in my early 20’s anymore, I don’t have time to waste. If I meet someone, and we click, we can move forward fast. We can discuss marriage, having a family.”
Janavi, a 35-year-old IT consultant in Helsinki, told the story of a marriage that ended before it began:
“When I was 27, I married a distant relative, and within 3-4 days, I found out that he’s gay. He just got married for the society part. After a week, we decided to end the marriage.”
There’s No Rush… And Yet, There Is.
“My birthday is coming up soon,” said Pramila, sighing softly into the phone. “It makes me think, another year is passing. Another year that I haven’t found someone. Another year alone.”
Janavi, calling from Finland, also underlined the importance of this life goal. “For me it’s not, ‘Tomorrow we’ll get married’,” she emphasized. “But yes, I would like to settle down. I would like to find someone, see if we are compatible.”
Avinash, a data scientist based in Germany, wondered if he was doomed to remain single.
“According to the Indian norms, I am way past my marriageable age,” he said. The pressure made him worry if there was still hope, and if he could ever “catch up”. “As per the marriage market standards, I am way behind,” he said wistfully.
It’s Important to Find Someone Compatible.
“I found myself after coming to Finland,” said Janavi, referring to her decision to move to Europe after her week-old marriage ended. “I travel and hike a lot. I’m out a lot. I love travelling. I love being outdoors. I’m looking for someone who can join me here.”
Rohan, a 36-year-old project manager at a logistics company, agreed:
“I have focused a lot in my career. I’m not a person who’s desperate to meet someone. I want to meet someone who fits to my values, what I think. We should connect.”
It’s about getting to talk to people first. You should have sufficient confidence that you have a connection with this person.
“I don’t have this arranged marriage mindset,” said Rohan. “I really want to find someone with whom I can spend the rest of my life completely.”
The First Step is Taking Action.
Normally you would get introduced by a friend of a friend. There are no parties. You’re here, you have a network, but it’s all professional colleagues. “That’s not what I want to mingle with,” said Janavi. “I want to find people of like-minded interest.”
You might not be completely a Westerner, nor a completely traditional person. But you’re ready to go forward with this stage in your life.
Working with a Professional Matchmaker is a opportunity to meet validated leads – people who also want something serious. It cuts short 80% of the time wasted.
We work together 1:1, for six months, based on a monthly subscription, to set up meetings on Zoom with like-minded educated professionals who are also resident and working or studying in the Schengen Zone. We guarantee a minimum of three quality meetings over the time period, and usually end up with much more 🙂
Wondering if you’re ready to work with a Professional Matchmaker? You can sign up for a free Introductory Call, to speak for 30 minutes and learn about the specific profiles to whom we can introduce you over the next 3 weeks. The call is 100% confidential, and you have a chance to learn exactly who could be a match for you.
Sign up for an Introductory Matchmaking Call HERE.
A Shortcut to Meeting The Right Person.
“I had doubt regarding which online platform to use. Knowing that you don’t only suggest someone, but Malaika takes it as a process on a personal level, that really actually made me feel comfortable,” said Ambika, a 29-year-old engineer based in Dusseldorf. “[Meeting someone] should be natural process. The word ‘process’ is missing in other platforms. With Malaika, she personally takes part, she talks to the candidate personally, she figures out who can match.”
You should not have to look at 500-600 profiles and figure out what you want.
“It’s very nice to see that someone approaches relationships from a psychology standpoint, something that absolutely doesn’t happen on dating apps where you’re just asked to answer a series of random questions about your interests,” said Shirin, a 35-year-old project manager based in Paris.
Sign up for an Introductory Matchmaking Call HERE.
All photos of woman in blue kurta by Anil, except for red cabins photo which is by Daria Shetsova.