How a 30-year-old scientist at a major research university found his life partner on Match.com…
Jeff is 30-year-old Scientist.
Jeff was a 30-year-old scientist and professor at a major research university. He comes from a science background: he got his Master’s degree, then a PhD. He can be fun-loving and serious, with several publications even though he is still early in his research career.
He had a New Job in a New City.
After finishing his PhD, he was hired as a professor – meaning he both teaches and does research – and moved to a new city where his job was located that same year.
He had to find a place to live, open a local bank account, start his social life from scratch. He was already very busy in his job. Plus, his work required him to spend long hours alone in front of the computer or in the lab. He was ready to find a life partner, but he was busy. It took him a while to get settled and actually start meeting people. He didn’t have a lot of free time.
Plus, how and where does a 30-year-old scientist find a life partner?
Jasmine, too, Has a Career She Loves.
Jasmine works at one of the major departments of the university, and has spent most of the last 15 years living on campus, slowly building up her career in university life and working with students of all ages and stages.
She herself was highly accomplished, with a Master’s Degree and a career in which she continued to rise up the ranks. She was ready to find a life partner, but busy with her own career.
They Worked at the Same Place, but Never Met.
Jasmine and Jeff both worked at the same university. It has 50,000+ students, on a huge, sprawling campus. In addition, the town receives thousands of visitors every year.
Jasmine and Jeff shared:
- the same employer
- the same workplace (the university)
- the same hobbies (they both enjoy nature and outdoors)
- the same career (working at and for a major research university)
Despite all of this, the chances they would simply “run into each other” were slim to none.
Both Were Ready to find a Life Partner.
Both of them are busy professionals with rapidly growing careers. Plus, Jeff comes from a close family and wanted the same. Jasmine wanted to start a family of her own. Neither of them had much time to waste.
Jasmine had been living in the same city for 10+ years and had a close group of friends and colleagues with whom she spent a lot of time. Jeff’s career in publishing research papers means he spends a lot of time alone (i.e., not going out). Yet neither of them had met that “someone special”.
Both were ready for a serious relationship. Both felt that they had a lot to give, in the right relationship, but where and how to find it?
They Each Joined Match.Com, Hoping to Find Love.
“Although we both work at the University, our paths would not have crossed without our trusty friend and modern day cupid, Match.com,” they said.
They had each signed up to the dating website Match.com.
Remember, Match.com, Tinder, OkCupid, PlentyOfFish, etc., are all dating apps owned and operated by the same singular parent company. Therefore, you can simply choose the app of your preference, and get the same outcome.
Jasmine and Jeff chose Match.com based on their personal preference.
Wondering how you can ask a girl out online?
They Matched, then began Messaging.
After they first matched, they began to text about their mutual interests. This step is crucial: it allows you (the guy) to show the girl that you’re a genuine human being. This is when you show her that you are interested in truly getting to her for who she is. Messaging for a few days (before asking for a date) removes any suspicions that you’re simply seeking ONS.
Jasmine and Jeff sent messages back and forth about their most memorable places visited, travel bucket lists, and favorite places to hang out in town.
A few weeks later, Jeff invited Jasmine to meet for drinks and dinner at a local restaurant. He picked a specific activity (drinks + dinner), and a specific time (after work, around 6:30pm), and a specific location (a local restaurant they both knew).
Their First Date was a Simple Activity: Dinner + Drinks.
They met that very evening for their first date.
“We chatted and laughed over delicious coconut cake and cocktails, until Jasmine needed her beauty sleep,” says Jeff.
The first date was a success because:
- Jeff waited to get to know Jasmine a little bit before proposing to meet
- He clearly communicated the date, time, and location, and even double-checked that it was okay with her.
- They met for a low-pressure activity (drinks and dinner at a local restaurant)
- Jeff respected Jasmine’s bedtime and structured the date around it.
They Had Time to Get to Know Each Other, and Schedule a Second Date
During this first date, they learnt:
- They both enjoy restaurants and eating
- They both enjoy and appreciate alcohol and cocktails
- They share a sense of humour
- They wanted to see each other again !
The following weekend, they met for a second date.
“Drinking beers, Indian food, and most importantly a first kiss!” they said.
“The rest is history.”
A Serious Relationship Begins with Food
Jasmine and Jeff were both ready, willing, and able to settle down. But they started with casual dating: hanging out in public places, doing activities they both liked, making easy conversation about their hobbies and interests.
From casual dating, they discovered that they shared mutual chemistry and many shared interests. This led them to develop a more serious relationship.
A Serious Relationship Can Lead to Marriage
Then, after dating seriously for 3 years, Jeff proposed to Jasmine.
Last year, they tied the knot, and now live together in a big house they bought together.
Both of them love to laugh and are a joy to be around.
Both of them are happier together than before, even though life was good for each person before they’d met. They both found a partner who loves to travel, who is passionate about their work, and who is close to their family.
You, Too, Can Match with Someone Today.
You don’t need a million matches, you just need one that works.
Wondering how you can ask a girl out online?
Have you tried Match.Com?
For the purposes of this article, all names have been changed to protect privacy.