As it went, I attended an event tonight hoping to meet someone interesting. Instead, most of the guys did not seem willing to put in effort. Nonetheless, I came home feeling happy and whole. Here are 5 simple rituals that help me enjoy the dating process.
You know when you get dressed up to go out and meet new people, swipe on a dash of plum lipstick, your favourite jeans, and then the evening is a bust? Yeah, that happened to me. So many times.
As a Professional Indian Matchmaker, it’s my job to get good at meeting the right people. You’re not trying to meet thousands of people, just a few with whom you can actually connect. Sadly, sometimes it doesn’t work out. You put yourself out there, and it doesn’t go anywhere. Still, you want to enjoy the dating process.
Over the years, I’ve perfected this little formula to keep the motivation going, even when you go out and end up meeting no one.
First, I start the evening with a good, long, podcast.
Sometimes, I’ll listen to it while I’m getting ready, pulling on a silky pair of pants. Or you can pop your headphones on while commuting/driving to the venue. This helps me get into a story that I can return to later on. It helps me enjoy the dating process (even if that enjoyment does not come from my dates!).
Second, I always eat dinner beforehand.
Being hungry at a strange new destination is the worst. What if I don’t like the food, or it gives me IBS? Or they don’t have any vegetarian options? Eat dinner at home beforehand. Problem solved.
Pro tip: cook your dinner in butter or ghee to keep you feeling full for longer.
Third, I carry water with me.
When we are thirsty, we can feel stressed and anxious. If I start to sag in the middle of an event, and there’s no water available, I take a swig from my own bottle. It calms me and centers me. It helps me enjoy the dating process of meeting new people, and going outside my comfort zone.
Fourth, I plan for rest.
If I’m going out to meet strangers in the daytime, I’ll plan to come home and take a nap in my dark bedroom with the shutters shut. If I’m too far from home, I’ll stop in park and lie on a bench, or stop in a coffeeshop and drink a tea in silence. When going out at night, I’ll come home well before bedtime so I can decompress for an hour and watch cat videos on Instagram.
Fifth (and best), I plan a reward snack at home.
During the winter, this was hot chocolate with coconut milk and Dutch-processed cocoa. Nowadays, it’s chocolate ice cream with dehydrated coconut sprinkles, or just a banana. This way, even if the evening is a bust, I can eat my snack, relish the private deliciousness, and enjoy the dating process (even if I don’t meet someone!).
You can’t control who you’re going to meet at an event (or if you’re going to meet anyone interesting at all!)
You can’t control the ride home, in the car or on the metro or on a public bicycle.
Often, you can’t control how you’ll feel – PMS, a bad night of sleep, work stress, general anxiety about the state of the world.
Creating these rituals put ME in control of my peak experiences, and took the pressure off trying to meet someone every time I go out. Instead, I could look forward to all these aspects that are totally in my control, and enjoy the dating process.
Bonus points if you meet someone interesting!
Maybe you’d like to meet people more organically but haven’t had much luck yet. Right now, you mostly chat through apps, and then often things fizzle out before it gets to a date stage.
You’re Ready for a Different Approach.
You’re ready to start a serious relationship but wouldn’t want to rush into one for the sake of it. Right now, you’re okay meeting new people and having some fun in the process. But if it clicks with someone right off the bat, you’re not going to shy away from that opportunity!
It’s not impossible but it’s just difficult to meet like-minded people and build that emotional connection. Maybe you keep trying things but are not able to find success so you’re trying to figure out what else to try.
Maybe I can help.
I’ve put together a bundle of the most attractive profiles from my exclusive, private database.
All of these men are ready for marriage and to start a family. They’re also:
✅ US citizens
✅ Ambitious educated professionals
✅ open minded and progressive
✅ fit & active & go to the gym
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If you’re ready to meet these lovely gentlemen, click here to learn more.
Photos via Eugene Angoluk, Jopwell, Polina Tankilevitch, Cats Coming, Jeshoots, and Bastian Riccardi.
