…a beautiful song from a decade past. The moment it comes on the radio, or I hear it playing at the supermarket, I start singing along, and immediately fall into a moment of nostalgia. The soft notes inspire fond memories, and hit an emotional chord. The song is the beginning of a great conversation.
When listening to a favourite song with someone who associates it with similar memories, we experience a moment of bonding. We can start a conversation about that passion. Discussing a shared passion drives emotional connection.
1. Pick One Theme That You Can Have a Conversation About.
Many of my readers write to say that music is a huge passion. One matchmaking student recently said:
“I really, really love music. I would love to share this passion with someone. I’d love to be able to talk about my love for music.”
2. Find Your Conversation Material: a Film/Book/Podcast .
I’d seen posters around town for Aline, a biopic of the life of Celine Dion.
Lying on my sofa one night, I watched the trailer. I listened to the music. And immediately, I thought of my mother.
My mother is passionate about music, and instilled this love in her children. When Bohemian Rhapsody came out, she saw it and loved it. She wanted to discuss it on the phone with me. But I hadn’t seen it. The conversation was over before it could begin.
Remembering that moment, I was hit with regret. I had lost a chance to bond with a loved one, on a shared interest, about a subject she loved.
Remembering that moment, I resolved to make the future different.
3. Immerse Yourself in This Conversation.
Maybe my mom had seen the Celine Dion movie. Maybe not. But she and I had both spent decades listening to the music of Celine Dion. I knew we could discuss it. I knew we both loved her music. Discussing a shared passion would build create emotional connection.
Immediately, I leapt off the sofa. I grabbed a coat and scarf, my keys and wallet. The movie was playing that evening; I had just enough time to get to the cinema.
I raced on my bicycle to the nearest movie theatre, and bought a ticket. Before long, I was nestled into the comfortable seat, popcorn in hand, waiting for the movie to start.
4. Start a Conversation About Your Recent Experience
The next day, I called my mom on WhatsApp. She was just finishing her lunch.
“Hi mom, did you see the movie about Celine Dion?” I asked her.
“Wow, yes, I heard of it! Did you see it? Oh gosh, I remember listening to her song at a wedding recently…”
And we were off, speaking excitedly about our shared passion. Authentic conversation – and emotional connection – really is that simple. You can start many great conversations with these 4 steps.
Great Conversations are based on Deep Passions.
You can use these 4 steps to have a great conversation based on any passion. In the passion, I’ve applied the same sequence to a variety of topics. I’ve discussed my esoteric passion for Danish films while visiting a French friend and her family. I’ve talked at length about Korean food with a neighbour from Germany. My passion for cycling launched a great conversation with my partner about his life goals.
It’s key to centre the conversation around your passion. From there, you can ask questions to gauge the other person’s level of interest in the topic. If they ask questions, you can share more information about your recent experience sparked by this passion. And if they don’t express interest, pick another passion and try the same sequence.
Creating emotional connection begins with finding a mutual passion.
Find your passion. Experience it. Then share it with someone you want to get to know better. This enables you to understand their passions, and understand who they truly are.
In the words of the great Celine Dion,
“What do I need to stay grounded, in touch, in love, connected, emotionally balanced? Look within yourself.“
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